Should You Be Friends With Your Ex?
So you dated, you broke up... and now you want to stay friends. Can it be done? Is it possible to have a successful platonic friendship between two people who've dated and been intimate with each other?
Let's sideline that question for a minute and ask another question first: are you trying to be friends with your ex simply because you think it will help you get them back? Because if that's the case, you've got a lot to learn about post-breakup relationships.
As hard and final as it sounds, you absolutely cannot be friends with someone you once dated. There's no such thing as a mutual breakup, and this is because one person will always have some sort of residual feelings for the other person. Always.
If your ex broke up with you, chances are good you still want them back. Maybe you're thinking: should I be friends with my ex? Maybe just continuing to be a part of their life will make my ex want me back.
Honestly however, nothing could be further from the truth. Although your boyfriend or girlfriend might keep you around in a friendship-type capacity, making the transition from friends to lovers again is an uphill climb. Once you've allowed your relationship to be demoted to a simple friendship, getting it back to where it was becomes nearly impossible. Why? Because you're no longer on equal footing.
Losing Power and Control From a Position of Friendship
Think about this: you have to watch your ex go on with his or her life, pretending to be buddies with them. Every time they succeed without you, you have to feign happiness. When your ex starts dating someone else? You have to swallow that lump in your throat and gleefully clap your hands. Why? Because you're friends now, and that's what friends do.
Deep inside, you'll be torn apart. Watching your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend go on without you is the last possible thing you'd ever want to see. But see it you will, from the helpless standpoint of being "friends". That prospect shouldn't be very appealing.
If you really do want your boyfriend or girlfriend back, you can't accept the offer to be friends. Only be removing yourself completely from your ex's life can you one day hope to actually date them again. If this seems backwards, it's because it is. Yet at the same time, going away is the only way you can actually get your ex to miss you. Sticking around will only get you taken for granted.
Signs That Your Ex Wants You as More Than Just a Friend
The good news? The fact that your ex even wants to be friends with you means they still feel some sort of attachment. Take advantage of that by denying them that attachment and tearing yourself away long enough to make your ex need you back. When your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend looks around and suddenly can't find you? That's when they'll start to think about you, and begin reminiscing about the relationship.
Should you be friends with your ex? Not even a little bit. The quicker you can sever the lines of communication, the greater you'll create a need for you in your ex's world again. Getting your boyfriend or girlfriend back is all about making a hole in their life where you used to be. By making them hungry to fill that hole again, you can win back their love while keeping their respect.
The path to reconciliation doesn't lead through friendship. You can try to be friends with your ex OR you can reverse your breakup and work toward getting your ex back. But you can't do both.
Friends With Your Ex? Here's What to Do
If you've fallen into the friend zone with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend, you'll just about need a ladder to climb back out. That said, it is possible.
One thing you have in your favor is that you and your ex DID have a romantic relationship at one time. You were drawn to each other, you were intimate, and you shared a relationship closer than most people ever get. This means that somewhere - deep down - your ex still remembers those feelings for you.
Your goal, if you want to date your ex again, is to draw those feelings back out. There are many ways to do this, but you want to choose the right ones... not the wrong ones.
Sometimes, as ex will completely ignore you despite your best efforts to get them back. When this happens, you'll need to take a more hands-on approach to grabbing their attention, but again, any attention you get from your ex must be done in a positive way.
Below you'll find two of the best relationship repair guides offered today. One is geared toward men, the other is for women, but both are designed with step by step instructions and a goal-orientated agenda of getting your ex to want you back:
How To Get Your Girlfriend Back
Looking for instant advice you can start using TODAY? The EX Girlfriend System applies techniques often referred to as psychological manipulation, but which can easily be used to 'train' your girlfriend into wanting you back.
Find out how to make your ex girlfriend extremely jealous, to the point where she's even crawling back and begging you to continue the relationship!
How To Get Your Boyfriend Back
Instead of just getting your boyfriend back, Get Him Back Forever shows you which emotional hot buttons will immediately make your ex come running back to you.
This instantly downloadable guide will teach you what's going on in your man's head, and how you can use his own thought processes to put him back in your arms... and make him always want to stay there.
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