Reversing How Your Ex Sees You After The Breakup
About 99% of getting back together with someone is all about how they feel toward you. With that in mind, why would you spend all of your time and energy concentrating on that 1% of how you feel about them?
you is the only way to reverse your breakup.
The answer of course, is that you shouldn't. Yet that's what most people do after being dumped: they wallow in self-pity and start listing all of the things they still love about their ex, rather than focusing on getting their ex to still love them.
And yes, your ex does in fact still love you. Your boyfriend or girlfriend can't just flip a switch and turn off all the emotional ties they still feel toward you. They can however tear down the lines of communication and leave you in the dark when it comes to contact, and this is what generally happens when they decide to end your relationship.
From that point on, your ex sees you a certain way. Since they were the one breaking up with you, they see themselves as sort of the victor.
You on the other hand, are the 'loser' of the relationship. They're the one moving on and leaving you behind, and because of this your ex boyfriend or girlfriend expects you to act a certain way after the breakup: defeated.
Here's where you can take one of two paths, and the one you choose will be vital to whether or not you get your ex back. On the high road, you'll redefine your ex's opinion of you - and the breakup - by changing the entire way they see you. On the low road, your ex's opinion of you will spiral downward as you play the part of the defeated, forlorn dumpee.
Understanding The Breakup Mindset - Losing Your Ex's Respect
In breaking up with someone, you're wholly rejecting them. You're basically saying that you think you can do better, and that whatever you've been experiencing with them is less than you think you deserve.
"We're just not right for each other" and "We'd probably be better off with other people" are just phrases used to sugarcoat the act of breaking up. As anyone who's ever dumped someone will tell you, breaking up is mostly a selfish act: you're looking out for your own interests and putting them over the interests of the person you're leaving behind.
you've regained their respect.
Now this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it happens to be the way things are. So when your girlfriend or boyfriend dumped you, it was because they now believe the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Maybe they have someone new in mind, maybe they don't, but either way they plan to move in a direction that no longer includes you.
So from the very beginning, there's a level of respect lost when your ex breaks up with you. The act of rejecting you as a potential boyfriend or girlfriend leaves your ex on mentally higher ground than you. Does it make them better than you? Of course not. But in their mind you're already less desirable than you were when they first started dating you.
From there, it's very easy to slip downward as far as your ex's opinion of you is concerned. Excessively calling your ex and asking for 'another chance' slips you down another several notches on their list. E-mailing, text-messaging, or generally chasing after your ex boyfriend or girlfriend are all seen as undesirable actions when it comes to a potential partner and mate.
In doing all these things you might think you're fighting to keep your relationship alive. What you're really doing however, is giving yourself less and less value in your ex's eyes. Their respect for you is eroded away by the fact that you don't know when to stop.
How To Get Back Lost Respect - Regaining Relationship Position
Before you can fix your breakup, you'll need to make your ex boyfriend or girlfriend once again see you as an equal. You must gain back the ground that you lost when they broke up with you... without losing any more ground in the process.
One of the best ways to regain your footing is to stop the downsliding right away. Cease any and all activity geared toward getting your ex back, especially if you've been begging or pleading your case. The more attention you give your ex right now, the harder it will be to regain their respect. Stop trying to make them see the value in keeping the relationship alive, and start letting them see you've accepted (and even embraced) the fact that the two of you have broken up.
When your ex thinks you're finally over the relationship? That's when you become safe and approachable. Only when your boyfriend or girlfriend stops feeling threatened by the prospect of you trying to get them back will they actually start seeing you the same way they used to.
This is important, because while trying to win back an ex boyfriend or girlfriend you cannot act from a position of vulnerability. Anything you say or do from a disadvantageous position will always fail, because you haven't earned back your ex's respect yet.
Shedding The Bonds of Your Past Relationship... To Get it Back
The more you hang onto the past, the longer you'll be doomed to endure your breakup. This is because you're still trying to save a broken relationship rather than create a new one by wiping the slate clean and starting on solid ground.
For example, your ex doesn't want to hear that you can 'fix' things. He or she doesn't want to hear that you 'promise to change'. Odds are good they've heard these things before, and they've been disappointed with the overall results. Trying to mend your broken romance with empty promises will always fall on deaf ears, no matter how much you still love or need this person in your life.
Instead of concentrating on what you can do to make things better, it's actually time to let things fall apart. By agreeing with and accepting the fact that your romance is over, you're lining yourself up on the same side as your boyfriend or girlfriend. Together you can look back over the past and lament the loss of something that once was great, before walking slowly in the opposite direction.
Walking away is key. It's the single greatest thing you can do to get your ex back. In his or her mind, they've already let go of things. But once they see that you've let go, the breakup suddenly becomes a lot more real - and final - in their eyes.
This is when your ex needs to make hard decisions, and is forced to examine your relationship from a different perspective. All of a sudden, they really do stand to lose you. If they don't call off the breakup, they could actually lose you for good... and this isn't something your ex ever has to face while you're still 'fighting' tooth and nail to keep things going.
Reversing Positions and Stopping The Breakup
Eventually, you'll need to accomplish one important thing: getting your ex to start chasing YOU. This is when the balance of power shifts in your favor, and the reconciliation you've been after is finally imminent as your ex realizes they'd rather be with you than without you.
To get to this point, you'll need to apply additional reversal techniques. The best ones can be found within the very helpful and fully downloadable resource: Breakup Reversed
Written for those who feel themselves in a much weaker position, Breakup Reversed shows you how to snap out of this downward spiral and turn your current situation completely around.
You'll find unconventional methods that work fast, as well as bonding secrets so powerful they'll have your ex boyfriend or girlfriend literally running back to rekindle your past relationship.
Check out the step-by-step written and audio advice on exactly how you can get your ex back, and what you should be doing and saying at each individual stage of the breakup.
Also be sure to read the long list of success stories from people who've already gotten back together after absorbing the knowledge within this unique guide to relationship repair.
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