How To Know How Your Ex Still Feels About You
Sure the relationship ended, but does your ex still love you? If so, what are the signs that they still have feelings, and how can you use this knowledge to get them back?
Just because your breakup was sudden doesn't necessarily mean everything ended right then and there. It's unrealistic to expect that your boyfriend or girlfriend's feelings just disappeared the second they broke up with you, or that they were able to cleanly sever their emotional ties with one quick decision.
While you dated, you bonded as a couple. You experienced good times, went great places, and did fun things together. Maybe you had holidays, birthdays, and shared friends and family. The point is, your ex won't be able to let go of you all at once... no matter how cold or distant they might be acting toward you right now.
Knowing exactly what your ex boyfriend's or girlfriend's feelings toward you is very important to the process of getting them back. Getting inside their head and understanding how they view you can be a tremendous asset when it comes to handling future contact.
The problem however, is that right now your ex is probably very guarded about their feelings for you. They might be saying very little about your past relationship, or even refusing to speak to you at all. This makes it difficult to know where you stand, which eventually leads to you acting blindly. Taking blind action can hurt your chances of winning your ex back, especially if you make the wrong moves at the wrong time.
Signs That Your Ex Still Loves You - Interpreting Their Actions
Again, your ex isn't going to tell you how they still feel about you. After a breakup, it's up to you to interpret their words and actions, and in some cases, their lack of action. You can learn a lot about how your ex feels toward you just by examining these basic behaviors.
Why Your Ex Keeps Calling or Contacting You
One of the biggest signs that your ex isn't over the relationship is when they try to keep the lines of communication open. In a true breakup situation, where your ex really intends on walking away, he or she wouldn't be calling, emailing, or texting you after the breakup. In fact, they'd go out of their way NOT to make such contact.
An ex who keeps in touch is trying to weigh their options. Your relationship might be over right now, but it's comforting for your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to know that you're still "around". By maintaining contact - even minimally - your ex is intentionally keeping you within easy reach, just in case they want to reverse their decision to end the relationship.
It's important not to treat such contact as a sure sign that your ex wants you back. Although that's still a possibility, you always need to allow your ex the time to come back to you. This is why you don't want to answer all of your ex's calls, emails, or texts. In fact, the more you can ignore you ex during such contact, the better position you're placing yourself in for later on, when it's time to work toward getting back together.
Why Your Ex Wants To Stay Friends After The Breakup
In an even more drastic case, your ex will extend the offer of "let's be friends". This can mean one of two things, depending upon your situation.
First, your boyfriend or girlfriend could be using this phrase to let you down easy. They might be giving you the friendship line to bail out of the situation and get away as fast as possible. If you got this line during the breakup speech, this is a definite possibility.
If your breakup happened already and your ex still wants to be friends with you, there's a good chance they still have strong feelings for you. Your ex still loves you and feels emotionally bonded enough to keep you close to them, just in case they want you back.
Being friends after someone breaks up with you is a very sticky situation. There are some major traps you can fall into if you're not careful that will eliminate your chances of getting back into a romantic relationship again.
If you want your ex back, you'll need to learn exactly what to do when the "let's still be friends" speech comes your way.
Why Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend Stays In Touch With Your Friends
Post-breakup, your ex will withdraw from you. That said, he or she will still be looking back to see where you are, what you're up to, and how you're handling the fact that you're no longer together as a couple.
In many cases it will be difficult for your ex to keep tabs on you - especially if you've been following the no contact rule. In this case, your ex might keep in touch with friends of yours, or mutual friends you developed over the course of your relationship. And if your romance lasted long enough to get close to each other's family? Your ex might even be keeping in touch with family members under the guise of 'still being friends' with them.
Any time an ex probes your friends or family for information about you, it's because they're insecure about the breakup. They might not be ready to get back together just yet, but they want the comfort of knowing you're still available, and haven't found anyone else. It's a good sign that they still have feelings.
Why Your Ex Keeps Telling You About His or Her Single Life
If you're still in touch with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, chances are they're going to be very guarded about what they're doing (and who they might be seeing). They'll do this to protect any new fledgling relationships they might have, and to keep you from being unnecessarily jealous over their post-breakup life.
However, if your ex is very open and honest about how completely single they are? It's because they want YOU to remain single as well. Your boyfriend or girlfriend is making a point of telling you that they're not dating anyone else right now, in hopes that you'll follow the same example. They're keeping the door to a potential reconcilition open, and this is a good indication that they're not yet over the relationship you had together.
Why Your Ex Stops by or Pops In Expectedly - 'Just To See You'
Sometimes, your ex gets more than he or she bargained for after breaking up with you. Maybe they didn't count on losing you so quickly, or they underestimated how lonely they'd feel once you were gone.
When this happens, there's a good chance your ex will jump in the car and physically show up to see you. An ex who stops by, even under the most innocent of pretenses, is definitely missing you. You need to play it extremely cool here, and try not to tip your own hand.
Although needing face-to-face contact is a very good sign your ex still cares deeply for you, jumping the gun here can actually scare them off. Make sure you're busy with other things when your ex shows up, and that you keep any meeting you have with them as brief as possible. This will ensure your ex wants to see you again, leading to another encounter.
What it Means When Your Ex Wants Their Stuff Back
It's the most popular reason someone gives for calling after a breakup: "I need to get my stuff back".
While it's sometimes a legitimate call to make, the "I need to come get my stuff" line is also a very common ploy. Your ex could very well be using it as a not-so-innocent excuse to meet up with you again, or just to start up a conversation.
Depending upon what items your ex actually left at your house, you can usually tell which type of call you're getting. Important or expensive things like schoolbooks or electronics might mean your ex really does just want to reclaim his or her posessions.
Calling to pick up a few CD's or cheap paperbacks however, is another matter. This kind of call could easily be nothing more than an excuse to get back in touch with you.
Another indication: the length of time that's gone by since the breakup occured. The longer it takes for your ex to call for his or her stuff back, the greater the chance that they're just trying to reconnect. Think of it this way: if these things were really all that important to them? Your ex would've come by to pick them up a lot sooner. It's not like they suddenly 'remembered' these things were at your home.
Why Your Ex Keeps Saying They're Sorry For The Breakup
Everyone's "sorry" for hurting someone at one point or another. This usually comes after the healing process is over, and one or both parties involved in the breakup have generally moved on.
For this reason, an ex who's apologizing in the days or weeks just after the breakup is making a very specific statement: they're trying to accept blame in an attempt to wipe the slate clean. Your ex doesn't want you angry enough to start seeing someone else, and this initial apology can easily be the precursor to your boyfriend or girlfriend offering to get back together.
An ex who wants your breakup to be final won't offer such a genuine apology. They might say "sorry things didn't work out", but they'll quickly break contact and move away in the opposite direction. An extended or detailed apology is usually a sign that your ex isn't over things, and potentially wants to clean up the mess and continue dating you sometime soon.
What If Your Ex Doesn't Show Any Signs Of Still Having Feelings?
Keep in mind that most breakup scenarios include a period of total silence. If your ex hasn't called or contacted you, and hasn't shown any interest in reconnecting, it doesn't necessarily mean that those emotional connections to you aren't still there.
Breaking up often requires trying to bury your feelings. By taking those emotions and putting them on a shelf, your ex hopes to move on with a minimum of mental and emotional difficulty. This is when it's important to be proactive. Learn which methods and techniques can unbury those feelings that your ex boyfriend or girlfriend still has for you.
The sooner your bring those feelings back to the surface, the quicker you can get your ex thinking about you again. This is the first major step toward getting them back.