Can You Use Jealousy To Help Get Your Ex Back?
At one time or another, we've all tried to make someone jealous. But while this powerful emotion can be very destructive and hurtful, can jealousy actually be used in a constructive way, to speed up the process of getting back with your ex?
If there's one thing we know about jealousy it's that it absolutely works. It's the one thing you can always rely on, in even the most desperate of breakup situations.
Few things can get quicker results than when you're wielding jealousy as a weapon. Nothing will grab your ex's attention faster than seeing you out and having a great time, and especially, doing those fun things with someone else.
When your boyfriend or girlfriend thinks you're moving on to a new relationship, they're suddenly faced with losing you for good. Seeing you in the arms of another person is a jarring reality check, and it forces them to make decisions that could instantly end your break up and put you right back together as a couple again.
At the same time however, jealousy can be overused too. Trying to make an ex boyfriend or girlfriend jealous can easily backfire, especially if your ex realizes what you're trying to do.
Push your ex's feelings too far in the opposite direction, and you can actually force them into the arms of someone else. In that respect, jealousy is a very dangerous tool... one never to be taken lightly, or used too quickly when other options are still available.
Making Your Ex Jealous To Get Them Back
On the up side, jealousy is an instant attention-getter. If used carefully (and judiciously), it can actually help speed up the reconciliation process.
To understand why, you must know that your ex is still watching you, even after breaking things off. He or she is definitely still interested in what you do and where you go, but not for the same reasons you think.
To sum it up, your ex doesn't want to see you succeed before they do. If you're romantically more successful than your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, a certain pendulum swings in your favor.
Rather than lose some of the control they received by breaking things off, your ex would much rather see your next endeavor fail. If you had a job, they don't want to see you make more money. If you hook up with a new partner, they don't want that person to be better than they are.
Seeing you succeed will make your ex jealous, especially if you succeed romantically. It's the equivelent of saying that they failed to make you happy, but somehow, someone else did.
You can also make your ex boyfriend or girlfriend jealous in a non-relationship setting. Just seeing their partner happy, in lieu of the breakup, can be enough to make some people think twice.
In many situations, your ex might've felt as if they were the one making you happy. Logically, you should be miserable without them. So by proving them wrong, you're actually devaluing the importance of your past relationship. In your ex's mind, this is what they see.
Check here for a lot more ideas on how you can make your ex boyfriend or girlfriend jealous, without them even realizing you've done anything at all.
Intentionally Making Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend Jealous
There's a big difference between going out and having fun, and actually pretending to have fun to make your ex jealous. You shouldn't be pretending to go out with anyone, or worse hook up with someone, just for the sake of 'getting back at' or making your ex jealous.
The biggest danger here lies in being caught for what you're doing. Instead of living your post-breakup life in a natural way, you're intentionally trying to manipulate your ex's emotional attachments toward you.
Get caught doing this, and all of your future actions will be laughable. There's nothing more pathetic than your ex boyfriend or girlfriend finding out that you've staged something just for their benefit.
Intentional or staged jealousy reeks of desperation and stinks of loneliness. You're better off doing nothing at all, rather then getting caught faking some type of trumped-up scenario just to make your ex jealous of you.
Now, this isn't to say you shouldn't make your ex jealous, or even go out with other people. It's just that you shouldn't do it only to make your ex boyfriend or girlfriend feel jealous... you should do it because it's what you want to do.
Living your life the way you want is the best way to get your ex to notice you again. And if this just so happens to include dating other people while you're on a break, that's something your ex will just have to deal with.
A byproduct of such a move will of course be jealousy. As your ex sees you happy with someone else, he or she will feel the sudden need to be the one making you happy again. It's strange, it's twisted, but that's often how life works. In a nutshell, we always want what we can't have.
Dating Another Person While You and Your Ex Are Broken Up
Seeing other people during your break can be a very tricky situation. Many people believe it will ruin your chances of a healthy reunion, should you and your ex decide to get back together.
On the other hand, the alternative - sitting around and 'waiting' for your ex to come back - doesn't sound too appealing either. It's the kind of situation where you look badly just by doing nothing, mostly because you're setting rules and guidelines for your own behaviors whereas your ex has no such restrictions.
And once your ex realizes you're afraid to date someone else for fear of making them angry, it's always going to prolong your breakup. Why? Because your ex boyfriend or girlfriend now feels pretty secure in the knowledge that you're not going anywhere. This gives them a license to do whatever they want, without worrying about repercussions in the form of you going out and finding someone new.
So should you date someone to make your ex jealous? No. But you should go out with someone if:
• That person is attractive to you, as a potential partner.
• You're ready to move forward socially, and see new people.
• You're over your breakup to the point where you can focus on someone other than your ex.
• You're looking to have fun and see what else is out there, regardless of what your ex may think.
• You're able to move slowly, take your time, and not rush into anything new (i.e. a rebound relationship).
a surefire way to make your ex jealous.
In short, ask yourself an honest question. Would you'd date this person if you were single? If so, go for it. Because you know what? You are single.
Getting back on the dating horse will give you something fun to do, and will distract you from thinking about your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. At the same time, seeing or hearing that you've been out on a date with someone else will almost immediately regain your ex's attention.
Nothing makes someone more jealous than seeing the person they love, or used to love, with someone else. Jealousy can stir up old feelings and enhance existing emotional bonds that are already there.
Jealousy leads to nostalgia. And nostalgia can do strange things to people, especially as the passage of time enhances the good aspects of a prior relationship while fuzzing out the bad times to the point where it's hard to remember them.
By putting yourself back in the dating game, your ex will immediately assume that you're serious about moving on. The breakup becomes very real to them, and you become a whole lot more approachable. How come? Because you've moved in the opposite direction.
And if you're worried that your ex won't want you back because you dated someone else? Don't be. Believe it or not, your ex boyfriend or girlfriend may be even more attracted to you in knowing you were attractive to someone else. By putting yourself back in the game, you suddenly become valuable and datable again.
Last of all, you only have to go as far with your new relationship as you're comfortable with. It could be nothing more than a few casual dates, and in the beginning it probably should be.
Don't forsake a possibly amazing connection with someone new for the sake of your old boyfriend or girlfriend, but don't feel as if you have to advance down the dating path at normal speed either. Take things slowly at first, and above all else, try to concentrate less on making your ex jealous and more on having a good time yourself.
What To Do When Your Ex Still Isn't Paying Any Attention To You
In some cases, your ex will completely ignore you despite your best efforts to get them back. When this happens, you'll need to take a more hands-on approach to grabbing their attention, but again, any attention you get from your ex must be done in a positive way.
Below you'll find two of the best relationship repair guides offered today. One is geared toward men, the other is for women, but both are designed with step by step instructions and a goal-orientated agenda of getting your ex to want you back:
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