My Ex Says She Doesn't Want Me Back... But Still Texts Me
She breaks up with you and gives you the sendoff. She even says she doesn't want you back. But then... why is your ex girlfriend still responding to your text messages?
is she still responding to your text messages?
Is there still something there? Some way you can get back in her good graces, through even this small amount of text-based contact?
What kinds of things can make your exgirlfriend want you again? Are there moves you can make? Steps you can take that will turn her feelings around, even when she says she doesn't want to get back together?
Luckily, yes. But you need to be very careful in how you approach the process.
When a girlfriend breaks things off it's always going to put you in a bad position. She has the power. She holds the cards. Everything you do seems ineffective, because right now she's calling all the shots.
Then she goes and tells you she doesn't want to date you anymore. That the relationship is "over", and you should accept the breakup and move on with your life.
Yet at the same time, your ex is answering your text messages. Maybe she's even sending some of her own. In short, she's still responding to you. This type of contact means something, even if she doesn't want to admit it to you right now.
Why Does My Ex Avoid Me and Not Want to Talk to Me?
To answer that, we need to understand the anatomy of a breakup. And not just how you feel (which is what you're concentrating on), but how she feels as well.
Know first that breaking up is difficult for BOTH of you. Yes, you got the short end of the stick. You're the one who got dumped, so you feel the most pain. This is because you didn't expect the relationship to end. It happened suddenly, so you weren't prepared for it.
Your ex on the other hand, had lots of time to prepare. She knew she was going to dump you in advance. Maybe she even prepared a speech. In her head, she went over how everything would go. Mentally and emotionally, she was ready to let you go.
So what happens afterward? Your ex avoids you. She knows that by sticking around, she's only making things awkward. She knows that by talking to you or seeing you, the only thing that will happen is you'll try begging or pleading for her to change her mind. And her mind was made up weeks or even months ago.
That said, your ex still has feelings for you. Emotional bonds that formed during your relationship can't be severed in a matter of seconds. They take time to fade, and it's during this time that your ex girlfriend is the most vulnerable.
Why? Because there are things you can say, and even some things you can do, that will make her question the decision to break up with you.
She KNOWS this. It's why she avoids you. But on the flip side of the coin, it's also the reason your ex girlfriend still answers your text messages, even though she might say she doesn't love you anymore or want to get back together with you.
So Why Does My Ex Still Answer My Texts?
In short, she answers them because she's not 100% ready to let you go. Her mind is made up (or so she's convinced herself), but her heart isn't.
Commonly, an ex will rationalize text-based contact on a singular basis: since YOU are the one initiating most of the texts, it's okay to text you back. Some girls will even tell themselves they're texting you back to "let you down easy", and because they don't want to be mean to you. The honest ones will even admit to a certain level of feelings they still have. But they'll use the phrase "I love you, but not in the same way I used to" or the ever-dreaded "you'll always have a special place in my heart".
In reality though, your ex text-messages you because there are connections still there. These are the deep-seeded, emotional roots your relationship was built on, back in the beginning when you first fell in love. Again, these take longer to fade. But eventually they will go away, especially if another guy enters the picture, which is why you need to work quickly if you want to get back together with your ex girlfriend.
My Exgirlfriend Wants to Stay Friends With Me - Should I?
If this is the case, it's an even bigger sign she can't let you go. She doesn't want to date you, but she also doesn't want you to go away. You've been a big part of her life for a long time now, and losing you all at once would hurt too much.
This is why your ex is trying to let go of you gradually. And the best way to do that? "Let's be friends". And sorry to say, this is a really bad idea if what you want is to really get her back.
Learn exactly what to do when your ex wants to be friends. It's important that you stop that situation immediately, because it could severely damage your chances of making up and getting back in position as her actual boyfriend later on.
What Should I Say to My Ex When I Text Her?
Texting your ex can take several forms. There's constructive text-messaging, where you're actually working toward making her miss and want you again, and there's destructive text messaging. This is where you beg her to take you back, plead with her for a second chance, and generally pester your ex girlfriend with lame crybaby pity-party bullshit until she's totally repulsed by what you've become.
There are 7 very big mistakes you can make while communicating or texting with your ex. Learn exactly what each of these are, so you can avoid ALL of them... or as many of them as possible.
In the meantime, you'll need to understand that you can't text your ex forever. If you fall into a comfortable 'friendly' routine with her, that's eventually all you're going to be. One day you wake up and find yourself buried up to your neck in the Friend Zone, and there's no way to climb back out.
Constant, everyday "friendly" conversations with your ex are bad news. Don't go overboard with them. The Friend Zone might seem comfortable for a while, but it's always a relationship-killer.
Besides, what would you say to your ex girlfriend? Can you talk about her new life without feeling jealous? Especially knowing that everything she's doing - all the places she goes and the things she experiences - will all happen without you?
And what about when your ex starts dating someone else? Or expresses interest in some new guy? Will you sit there pretending to give impartial advice, when in reality your stomach is twisting itself in knots? Will you be an objective "friend" when she calls to talk about her new relationship problems?
It's enough to make you want to stab yourself. The pain will be unbearable, and worst of all, you won't be able to show it. Any jealousy on your part will be construed as you still wanting her back. And you CAN'T want her back from that position. After all, you're just a friend.
Steps That Will Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back
Instead of developing some lame pseudo-friendship over texting with your ex girlfriend, you should be concentrating on REAL steps in the direction of getting her back. This means making hard choices and tough decisions, such as removing yourself from her life for a while.
Realize something: your ex girlfriend will NEVER miss you if you haven't gone away in the first place. The more you text with her, the more of a relationship you keep with her, the further removed from an actual boyfriend you'll be. In her eyes, you lose all appear. There's no mystery, no desire. No "spark" - like there was when the two of you first started seeing each other.
No, to get back together you need a step by step plan. A blueprint, if you will, that tells you WHAT to say, WHEN to say it, and exactly WHICH MOVES will make positive progress in getting your exgirlfriend to want, need, and love you as her boyfriend again.
Without a doubt, the fastest results can be achieved by reading the guide Breakup Reversed.
Written for even the most hopeless situations where your girlfriend said she doesn't want to get back together, this guide boasts an incredible 94.7% success rate when it comes to fixing an unwanted break up.
The techniques taught by master relationship expert Robert Parsons are fast and unconventional. Parsons shows you exactly what's going on in your ex girlfriend's mind right now, and how you can plant seeds of discord that will shatter her confidence and make her suddenly realize that breaking up with you was a mistake.
Once she realizes she wants you back, learn the emotional reconnection techniques that will make her want to stay. In the end you won't just repair your breakup, you'll fix your entire relationship - making it stronger and better than it ever was before.
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• Make him want you
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